I'm watching from behind the altar as you sit in the ruins of your nearly-enoughs and barely-successfuls, and I am reminded that in this place, you are most vulnerable. Your face cannot hide the struggle, the wrestling, the forming of hope that is quickly dashed by an anxiety that words cannot describe. The reminders of anger, impatience, a hand too quick to swat, and words that cannot be retracted from the hearts of your children. It could be that only a few weeks have gone by with such failure or perhaps it has been years. Right now, however, you must lift your eyes and look to Recovery.
Hush the lies, my dear, and start renewing your mind. Yes, those places are the most ugly of your gentle, feminine heart and brilliant mind but we begin to see that the most damaged places are absolutely destined to be the most fruitful. It is His rich kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4) so we do not fear the clutch of conviction. Let's not be afraid to look at what has become ashes and then let the rhythm of Healing take over our lives.
The mind of a woman is one of the most beautifully-fashioned places where God gently sets His vision and value for humanity. Her ability to care for dozens of people while she remembers the menial and mundane always gives birth to the significant. Thriving in a place of humility and utter dependence on the life of Christ, she carries generations, cultures, and even nations over the threshold of her home. At the tips of her fingers are life and destiny and the power to shape a Kingdom through love, sacrifice, grace, and a hearty prayer life.
It's because of this well-intended placement & potential that your mind is so susceptible to the overwhelming waves of fear, doubt, and comparison. If we do not guard against less-than-living, we will begin to think that:
our children are unworthy & inconvenient,
our husbands are incompetent & ignorant,
our schedules are already too stretched, or
our God is not worthy of our everything.
I can see that many of you already have these anthems playing non-stop throughout the day. They are like wicked vines growing all over your heart and the roots are frighteningly deep and they produce a dark and deadly fruit.
Oh, but it is never too late.
With pleading whispers, I am praying that you will hear the melodies playing above the dust storm, as a sweet Savior beckons your brokenness (yes, this is all of you) to come out of the ashes and into the glorious light. Do you know that He rejoices over you? Every piece of your broken heart will align if you truly believe in the delight of God. It will motivate you, compel you, fix you, empower you, and most of all - create in you a heart of worship that will not be swayed by trials, disappointment, or the overwhelming task of raising children. You will find Him irresistible throughout all the moments of your day and a new chapter will begin as you see that mothers are created for The Love Story.
The overflow of this worship will make its way through every crevice of your heart and overtake your thoughts and mind and then your words will begin to exude a grace and kindness and a style of parenting that is supernatural. Your home will fill with peace, your children will find anchor in the rocking waves, and your marriage will find sustenance and renewal. What a privilege to let this process start with us, without condition or clause. May He have all of you and all of your mothering heart in this very moment and for always.