Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Confession of a Real Mom #2

I had such a sweet morning with one of my besties & felt inspired to write another blog today. Consider it a follow-up from the more-than-recent confession of difficulty in motherhood.

My moments of deep, deep darkness seem to press further behind me as I search, quite desperately at times, for Light. I love following Jesus. I love His leadership and His tender tenacity in making me more like Him and less like myself. Yet, oddly, I become more like Myself as the transformation goes deeper and hits the darker and uglier roots.

My blog-fession (confession) left me surprisingly free as so many moms (and yet-to-be-moms) found encouragement in relating to another Christian mom who has hard times. My heart swells at the future I believe awaits us as our toddlers turn into teenagers and diapers morph into diplomas.

Thank you, Jesus, for these moments of struggle and sin. Thank you that YOU lead me to these places so that Your character is glorified in the horrific comparison to my sinful nature. Keep my heart from ever loving my sin. Keep my mind from justifying my position before you as anything but humble. Keep my kids innocent in their childhood but open-eyed aware of their sin, just like Mommy & Daddy.

My prayer for my children has been Psalm 23 and as I meditate on verse 6, it reminds me that I must deliver God’s promises to my kids:

“Surely God’s goodness and unfailing love will pursue ZoĆ« all the days of her life and she will live in the house of the Lord forever.”

“Surely God’s goodness and unfailing love will pursue Colby all the days of his life and he will live in the house of the Lord forever.”

I’m enjoying motherhood today. And I’m pretty sure I will again tomorrow.

“I look up to the mountains – does my help come from there?

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!

He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.

The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.

The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night.

The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life.

The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.”

Psalm 121

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